Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Kale, Bacon, and Watermelon Salad

Did someone say watermelon and bacon? Oh yes, you bet. Two of the great loves of my life put together for the better of the ovaries! Who knew? There are a hundred takes on a salad that you can do, but in the words of John Voight in Varsity Blues “stick with the basics; stick… with… the BASICS!” Except I promise not to hit you over the head with a whistle if you get fancy.
Kale is something I get a lot of pushback on. Bitter, dry, crunchy/prickly, those do not sound appealing. I must admit I’m not even the biggest fan of raw kale. But when steamed or sautéed you can make it great – I promise.

So if you’re suffering from the disgusting humidity and heat wave passing through the Midwest, this will be a refreshing and fiber-filled escape for you. Also, this is a time when bacon is great because salt is in the “other” column for the Menstruating Phase!

Ingredients:
1 serving of Kale (a couple of handfuls worth)
1/3 C Blueberries
1 C Watermelon (balled, cubed, however you like! I like small cubes because I savor it longer)
1 serving of Chestnuts (go for the water chestnuts!)
3 slices of bacon, not turkey bacon
2 T olive oil
½ Lemon
Black pepper, cilantro

Directions:
Again, I prefer my kale cooked. If you’re one of the gifted few that can stomach (and digest) raw kale, by all means, just rinse and use! But to cook for salads, I use a little vegetable steamer that just fits right in a pot of boiling water (keeping the water below the steamer, so the veggies are only getting steam, not water). You will use about 1 C of water, bring to a boil and place the vegetable strainer/steamer in the pot, top with the two handfuls of kale and place a lid over that for about 10 minutes on low heat.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about with this “steaming” business, another simple solution is to saute. This can be fun because it can get the edges of the kale nice and crunchy, and I like a little char taste from time to time. Heat up olive oil in a frying pan, place kale in pan and add just a tablespoon of water over top, cover this, but stir occasionally on low heat. Add a sprinkle of sea salt and garlic powder. Once you have reached your desired texture (you still want it somewhat bright green, a little undercooked), set to the side or in the refrigerator to cool.

There are several Pinterest ways to cook bacon. I enjoy the oven method where you lay them on a cookie sheet at 325 degrees in the oven for 20 minutes. But who can wait 20 minutes for BACON!? You can do that if you have patience. If you do not, just reuse the pan you cooked your kale in, or some other frying pan, and cook until crunchy the bacon, flipping occasionally. Drain your grease (not down the sink – use a can or something). Blot the bacon, let cool and cut up into bacon bits. Please, do not BUY a shelf-stable container of bacon bits. This concept creeps me out, but it is also loaded with and unnecessary amount of sodium and other things. Remember: if you cannot read the label, do not eat it. Bacon is great in pure form.

Drain your water chestnuts and halve.

To make your “dressing,” take the tablespoon of olive oil and put in a little dish. Squeeze your lemon half in it, sprinkle cilantro, cracked black pepper, and if you feel like another herb try rosemary or basil, those go great with watermelon.
Place your kale on a place, top with bacon crumbles, watermelon cubes, sprinkle with blueberries, add your chestnuts, and drizzle with dressing! Pretty easy, huh?

Remember to stay hydrated on days like this! You might feel bloated as all get-out, but water is the best way to avoid that feeling! Drinking a large amount of water will flush out the bloating and other toxins.

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